I wrote this years ago, at a time when if someone would have suggested that I would be a writer I would have scoffed at them. Looking back I have always been writing, but never considered myself a writer. Unfortunately, I have almost nothing of my earlier work. So here is one of the few. I also have an article about the newlywed couples on the Titanic that I will be sharing soon.
I was thinking today of my last voyage at sea. It was a night trip from Puerto Rico to St. Croix in the Virgin Islands; we left in the late afternoon. Since it was a short trip, our Captain decided to make it on the surface. I was the sonar supervisor until 6 pm. I got off watch, checked the after watch clean-up of my sonar men, reported the clean-up done to the off-going chief of the watch, and ate dinner. Afterwards, while the evening movie was playing on the mess deck (only a couple of men were watching the movie), I packed the few things I had left. My last night as a submarine sailor, a job I loved; this job, this world, this life was all I knew. I wandered the submarine; this was my last night at sea — ever.
I ended up in the control room just as they were changing the lookout up on top of the sail (conning tower). I was still a qualified lookout, though I had not stood the watch since I qualified as a sonar supervisor. I volunteered to go up. The chief of the watch passed the word to the bridge on top of the sail.
“Petty officer Combs to the bridge to relieve the lookout,” said the chief.
Coming up through the hatch into the Caribbeannight sky was awesome. My soul has always been at peace, at sea, surrounded by the ocean. The sonar division officer was the officer of the deck.
“Are you sure you want to give this up?” he asked scanning the horizon with his outstretched arm.
No, I did not want to give this up, but “this” did not happen often enough. A submariner’s life is spent below the surface of the ocean, in darkness. His world illuminated by red lights and the glow of electronic equipment.
The first night on a voyage is unique, though this was more than first night. First night, men not on watch go to their bunks, it has been a long hard day. The normal routines of a ship at sea are not part of that first night. Those men on watch are exhausted from the day’s work of preparing a submarine to go to sea, and then taking that submarine to sea. The usual banter between the men on watch is absent that first night. Only the whir of electronic equipment fills the air with sound.
Words are inadequate to describe being at sea with a deck under your feet. There you are alone in your thoughts, you and the sea. Your family, friends, and responsibilities back on shore still exist, but they might as well be on Pluto. You cannot affect them, even if you wanted too. Quite literally all of your problems are behind you. That great equalizer, the sea, is spread out as far as the eye can see before you. No privileges, no obstacles. You stand there on deck feeling the sway of the ocean and the vibrations of the ship. All is as it should be, all is at peace. The sea is constant and plays no favorites.
If Jesus was a carpenter … God was a mariner.
My commanding officer Commander (later Admiral) Frank “Skip” Bowman just pinned the Submarine Warfare pin on my chest. Standing behind me is my first sonar chief Lee Goodyear.
Below is a link for a short note I wrote on my personal facebook page. It is timely, and now you know a little bit more of where my thoughts are in the spring.
March 2012 I decided to share Sunday mornings with you, just a few minutes of quiet time, while we enjoy our morning cup of coffee. This past week I broke the 500th like mark for my posts. You did that, and I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. I truly appreciate you and the time we share together.
You are a truly marvelous person. Unique from all other humans who have ever been born. You have special talents, which though they may be similar to talents of others, are unique because they are of you, and there is no one like you. Some of you are having a hard time right now. Believe in yourself. Determine where you want to be in the future. Keep your eyes, mind, and heart on that goal. Take time each day to think about your goal. Look at your daily activities when you have succeeded and compare those to your daily activities today. Those things that will not be a part of your life … remove them this year, one item at a time. Those things that will be a part of your life when your goals are reached, make them a part of your daily life now … one item at a time.
You are great, you are marvelous, you are beautiful, and unique. When you focus and set your mind to something no one can stop, no one. Others can only slow you down, and try to rob you of your confidence. Do not let them. On your own you can accomplish what you thought was impossible. Together, with those who love and support you, there is no limit to what you may do.
Hotel del Coronado, Coronado Beach, California photochrom print rephotographed on slide film for preservation purposes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Today, we change pace. I want to introduce you to a beautiful lady with class and style, a one of a kind. She has been imitated, but never copied. I remember her from my days when I lived in San Diego. Many of the guys in my school wanted to go to Tijuana, but I found the Del more alluring. She has known presidents, princes, the elite of Hollywood, and your’s truly.
The front of the Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
She opened in 1888 as the Hotel del Coronado, but she is known as the Del. The Hotel del Coronado turns 125 years old this year. The largest and oldest all-wooden building in California, at one time it was on the USA Today’s list of the ten best resorts in the world. In 1880, E.S. Babcock (a railroad executive), Hampton L. Story (a bank president), and Jacob Gruendike (a founder of a piano company) bought all of Coronado and North islands for $110,000. The architect was James W. Reid of New Brunswick, Canada.
Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Babcock already knew what he wanted the hotel to be:
“It would be built around a court … a garden of tropical trees, shrubs and flowers, … From the south end, the foyer should open to Glorietta Bay with verandas for rest and promenade. On the ocean corner, there should be a pavilion tower, and northward along the ocean, a colonnade, terraced in grass to the beach. The dining wing should project at an angle from the southeast corner of the court and be almost detached, to give full value to the view of the ocean, bay, and city.”
The old building of the Hotel del Coronado. Camera used is a Nikon Coolpix 5000. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Del certainly does that, and it provides a great view across the bay from the mainland. In 1890, the Spreckel family bought out the partners (which had grown to include two more). The Spreckel family owned the hotel until 1948. During World War Two pilots who were in training stayed at the Del with their families. The hotel passed through several hands over the years and is currently owned by the Blackstone Group LP, Strategic Hotels & Resorts Inc., and KSL Resorts. The hotel has over one thousand rooms and is valued at over $500 million.
Hotel del Coronado in San Diego, California as seen from Cabrillo National Monument (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Construction started in March 1887. Lumber and labor was a problem at the time, Chinese immigrants were brought down from San Francisco and Oakland. All the lumber from the Dolbeer & Carson Lumber Company was sold on an exclusive contract to build the hotel. The builders also constructed their own brick works, and metal and iron shops on the grounds.
English: , Coronado Beach, . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Many of the biggest stars in Hollywood from Charlie Chaplin to Brad Pitt have stayed at the Del. Presidents B. Harrison, McKinley, Taft, Wilson, F. Roosevelt, and every president from Eisenhower to Obama have all stayed at the Del. Frank Baum (the Wonderful Wizard of Oz) did much of his writing there, and supposedly Stephen King’s short story 1408 (which was made into a movie) was written about a haunted room at the hotel. The hotel has also inspired many other short stories, books, and movies.
Lobby area in the Hotel del Coronado. Camera used is a Nikon Coolpix 5000. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Rooms 3502 and 3312 are supposedly haunted by two young women, both of them were pregnant when they committed suicide at the hotel. The most haunted room is supposed to be room 3327. Other haunted rooms include 3519, 3343, 3284, 3305, 3315 and 3300. Also the lobby, the gift shop, and the hallway on the third floor are supposedly haunted as well. Other ghosts include a Victorian woman who glides across the dance floor, a small boy and girl, other men and women in period clothing, a man dressed in 1940’s style, and some former employees.
Ghosts aside, the Del is just a great hotel with great atmosphere. Feel like being pampered, or pampering a loved one? The Del is the place to go. Rates are about the same as a hotel in New York City, and less than Disney’s imitation of the Del, the Grand Floridian.
Disney – Grand Floridian From Monorail – HDR LucisArt (Photo credit: Express Monorail)
I like the Del, just to get away for a day or two. Walk through her doors and the world just melts away. There is no place like that grand old dame of Southern California. I think everyone should stay there at least once. Oh, and don’t worry about ending up in one of the “haunted” rooms. Ghosts enthusiasts book those rooms solid, well in advance.
English: Evening shot of the Hotel Del Coronado (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Main building of the Hotel del Coronado. Camera used is a Nikon Coolpix 5000. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Dracaena draco, the Dragon Tree, at the Hotel del Coronado. Camera used is a Nikon Coolpix 5000. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The entrance sign for the Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Daddy and Elizabeth playing put put golf at Young’s Dairy 25 May 2008
The Ides of March, 15 March, two days ago as you read this (I wrote this on the 9th of March). Of course, ides just means the half division of something, and comes from the Romans. So, how do we all know the phrase “Ides of March?” After all, we can use the “ides” to all the other months and many other things as well. Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar Act 1 scene 2,
Brutus: “A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March.”
Brutus was saying this to Julius Caesar. Good reason for that warning as the 15th of March was the day Caesar was assassinated.
I like the halfway point as a good place to take stock of where I am, where I’ve been, and where I am going. I’ve been doing this on the run, but the 15th of March is when I pause for a moment and really take stock of this.
Daddy and Elizabeth 4 May 2008
I like being a man. Not for some political reason (be it politically correct or incorrect). I like the “manly” things like a barbershop, a real old-fashioned barbershop. Keith’s Cuts in West Liberty, Ohio was the first real barbershop I had been too in a decade or more. My wife found it for me, paid for my first haircut and gave me the address. When I moved to Columbus, I drove more than 100 miles round trip for a haircut, until I found the Gahanna Barbershop, another real barbershop, not a beauty salon.
Keith’s is that male bastion of the times of old … without the true crime magazines. Decorated in a “Cincinnati Reds and bowling” theme. I’m a Yankee’s fan (a cousin played with them), but Keith’s Reds stuff is pretty neat. The bowling is really just bowling pins marking Keith’s 300 games, and boy has he had a lot of 300 games (a score of 300 in bowling is a perfect game). I think though the best part is the men who go to Keith’s. West Liberty is a small farming community, and you can usually find a few of the city’s elder statesmen of agriculture waiting their turn in the chair and talking about manly stuff. None of which I understand. I appreciate it, but I really don’t know what a three-point-hitch is or what it does, much less why it is important. But I nod my head in agreement just the same. That’s what men do when we have no clue what someone is talking about, just nod your head and say “yup” once in a while. I just love going to Keith’s Cuts.
The Gahanna Barbershop is another bastion of sheer manliness. I think Tim the tool man would feel right at home in either of these barbershops. Gahanna Barbershop has four barbers and on most days you can usually find three of them there. These men are all military vets, or at least deserving of the title honorary vet. One is a Navy vet, so I feel right at home in the conversations. The décor is outdoors and vintage barbershop “stuff”. They have a hornet’s nest that the original inhabitants no longer use, old signs (including Burma Shave signs), a few tools, and shadow boxes with old barbershop instruments. The mirrors are framed like windows and they have a clock with the numbers backwards so it reads the right time while you are looking in the mirror.
My favorite time to go to the Gahanna Barbershop is Saturday mornings. This is when a parent (usually mom) will bring in their small son for a haircut. Of course, we include them just like one of the guys. I like to watch their faces beam at being one-of-the-boys. I think mom brings in her son for the price though, not the camaraderie. A real barbershop still charges half what one of the beauty shops or unisex shops charges. I don’t like that name “unisex”, sounds like someplace Larry Flint get’s his haircut at. I still go back to Keith’s once in a while, we need to patronize these old barbershops men. If we don’t one day they will all be gone.
Daddy and Elizabeth reading Dr, Seuss Easter 2009
I was pondering all of this as I read the poem “Given A Choice” by Sheri. Her poem for International Women’s Day. With everything I am interested, or have been interested in, poetry is not one of them. However, Sheri’s poetry always speaks to me and makes me think, those deep thoughts.
As I thought about my Southern roots, and why Sheri prefers to be a woman, I also thought about what being a man means to me — a Southern man. This brought me back to Shakespeare. To be specific Hamlet Act 1 scene 3 Polonius is giving advice to his son Laertes as he prepares to leave for Paris.
Polonius: This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. …
Those who know me would certainly say I am that. But, over the 20 years I have lived in the north I have quietly amputated small portions of who I am to fit in more with the Yankees (some of which you have read in recent articles). Something I have recently decided to undo.
Elizabeth on a merry-go-round 2008
Along with all of this I have also been thinking about those other things I like about being a man. Like the first time I held my daughter, or how I feel when she runs up to me on a playground, looks me in the face and says, “Daddy I love you”, just before she turns and runs off again. That and all the 1,000’s of other things she does. It makes you feel like you could take on heaven and hell for her if you had too.
There are also the not so good feelings too. As the man (at least for my generation and the older ones) you learn from the time you are a small toddler that daddy fixes everything. Like George Bailey “fixing” the rose petals back on the rose for his daughter when they fell off. Dads are supposed to be the defender of the family. You stand between your family and the ugly and dangerous things of life. The not so good feelings? When you hold your dying child in your arms knowing you can’t fix this. It does not ease the pain knowing no one else can fix it either. It makes you feel like you’ve failed, and worse than that, you failed a child, your child.
I also remember a while ago something that probably shocked me more than anything ever has. I remember the moment I realized a woman loved me totally and completely. She accepted me warts and all, no judgment or “fixing” required. There was nothing about me that would cause her to love me any less. She did not say this with words, but with one act, it was as if she had placed a sword in my hand and then bared her chest to me, smiling because she knew she was perfectly safe in my arms. It was the most restraining and most liberating I have ever felt in my life. It was also the most scared I have ever been in my life. I should have told her, but I didn’t. This is one of the “unconditional loves” we talk about. But there are conditions, you need to nurture and protect the “unconditional loves.” A dog will flinch if you beat it enough as will a child. You must always nurture love specially during hard or busy times, because that love between lovers is fleeting if not nurtured.
Do we get a second chance, after we learn from our mistakes? I don’t know. I know that no matter what comes, my daughter will always know the bountiful love of her daddy. Always accepting and never judgmental, I will not need a second chance with my child. I will always tell my daughter, and more important show my daughter, that I do and always will love her. But what of the other? There are many people around the world that have felt that “unconditional love” in their lives at one time, only to lose it. Will they get a second chance too? I don’t know. I do know that if I get a second chance at another relationship with another woman, I will not make the same mistakes again. I will make a whole new set of mistakes, it’s what we do, we are human, not perfect. I do know this though, you only make a mistake once, the second time it is a choice.
So, what can we do?
“To thine own self be true…”
Let nothing go unsaid that you should say. Live in today. Yesterday is gone, and can never be changed. Tomorrow is not a guarantee, it is a gift. Accept people as you find them — today. Accept responsibility for yesterday, and then let it go. Make plans for tomorrow, but do not let planning for tomorrow keep you from living today. In one word LIVE. Like the song says “… I hope you get the chance to live like you are dying …”
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