joeccombs2nd

That’s what his friends called him. Jeff and I decided to call him Little Pa. It was confusing to a 3 year old and a five year old to call both our grandfathers grandpa all the time. So, in toddler logic, the shortest grandfather would henceforth and forever be known as – Little Pa

Little Pa was my one positive family influence in my life as a kid. He did not approve of the job my parents were doing. But, his generation (he was born in 1905) believed you did not interfere with parents raising their kids, even if those parents were your own kids.

So, he took it upon himself to teach me what it meant to be a man, or rather a gentleman. It all came down to how you treat other people, all people. And the example you set in public forums. So, while I laugh silently at many of your posts and would love to share them — I won’t.

He also taught me that life is hard and unfair. People are doing the best they can, give them a break. Accept them the way you find them, not the way you’d like them to be.

He said, “The standards I am giving you are for you to live by. NOT for you to judge other people by.” (Thank you Little Pa).

Believe me, I have the same sense of humor, enjoy the same innuendos you do, and could probably out do a few of you. Though I won’t allow myself to go there in public, I enjoy watching y’all. Some men will think this is my “game,” and a few women too.

Nope.

No game, just me. Which brings me to something else my grandfather said.

“What other people think of you is none of your business.”

I also do not compete with other men for the affections of friends or women. A person you can take from someone can be taken from you, by someone else. A person who does not need you, but chooses you cannot be taken from you. Their loss, if it happens, is on you.

I want to be chosen. And once I am with you, no other person can change that. No one can turn me against my friend, and no woman can take me from my woman. I am their’s to lose.

My grandfather’s most important lesson he taught me two days after his death.

You are human, you will make mistakes, you will unintentionally hurt other people. That’s okay, you will never be perfect. It’s what you say and do after your mistakes that counts the most.

Thank you “Little Pa.” I miss you, but you are always with me. Elizabeth had gotten to know you and wishes she could have met you. You’d be proud of your great-granddaughter, she is a fine young lady and will be a good woman.

Weekly Ides? Yup Weekly Ides. The word ides comes from the Romans and means half. Wednesday is the halfway point of the week. “What Encourages Me”

This is a bit of personal advice. It is also something all of us need to be reminded of from time to time. So, without breaking any confidences, I am going to share it with you too.

“People make time for people who are important to them.”

Telling someone how busy you are, or that you are going through a rough time and don’t want to talk about it is a good start. Explaining that, when things get bad you tend to withdraw, is good to say. Many people do that, myself included.

But it is your actions that speak loudest. Friends, family, “tribe”, anyone you care about can only take it for so long no matter how much someone cares about you. The words without action become meaningless over time.

Sometimes it is really hard to talk. When you’ve been hurt before by people you trusted it can be almost impossible to be vulnerable again. The only people who can betray you are the ones you care about, but not everyone you care about will betray you.

You need to find a way to open up with words and deeds. Even those who care for you the most will only take being shut out for so long before they give up and move on.

Do not needlessly lose a friend or loved one that you do not want to lose. Because once someone has decided to move on – that’s it, they’re gone. And your chances of repairing things are worse than winning the lottery.

One other thing you are not thinking about. What if something happened to that person tonight? The memes have become cliche “tell people how you feel about them now, tomorrow might be too late.” The memes are cliche but the message is not. What if something happened to that person or to you? Are you happy leaving things where they are now? “Man up” now. Tell that person how you feel good, bad, or indifferent before that opportunity is taken away from you by a closed casket or a turned back.