Dad’s can we have a talk for a few minutes. Just dads. (I’ll be back next week for everyone else.)
I had another article already scheduled today. It was about what I did on Father’s Day. Well, part of what I did. But today I am going to share a little father/daughter time with you.
Until my daughter was 5 1/2 years old I was part of her life every day, an active part. I was the first person (after the doctor and the nurse) to hold her. That day is one of many etched on my memory for ever.
It was her mother who found the Columbus School for Girls. But after we met with admissions and toured the school I knew that is where I wanted my daughter to go. So at 6 months, yes that is correct 6 months not 6 years, Elizabeth started school at CSG (Columbus School for Girls). CSG believes boys and girls think differently, and they have the science to back that up. They have structured their school with that idea in mind. Their girls routinely excel in subjects like math and science, subjects it is normally thought are dominated by boys. The girls at CSG also attend the best and most challenging colleges & universities. Yeah, that is where we wanted our daughter.
I have always answered every question she as ever asked me. Sometimes the answer was, “I don’t know. Let’s go to the library and find out.” And we did. Sometimes I had to tell her she was too young to understand the answer. But I wasn’t putting her off. Each time I said that I would come back later when she was older. And i always have. I remind her of the question, ask if she still wanted the answer (she always says yes), and then answer her question.
I have skipped around my driveway in the rain like I was playing hopscotch, so as to avoid the worms my daughter was helping back to the grass. I’ve laid on the sidewalk watching ants at work, dressed up like a princess, worn makeup, worn silly hats, and played chase through a crowed festival. Did I mention skipping through a Target store?
I think it is important to be silly and to never lose our awe of nature. I’ve tried to teach our daughter compassion and empathy, and that one without the other is as useful as lead shoes to a speed swimmer. I’ve shown her that every single person is unique and important.
I want her to appreciate everything and everyone around her as she goes through life. To understand that life is not fair, but we should be. I want her to know that in life we have many more failures than victories, but you are never beaten until you quit. I want her to know that sometimes in life other people may try to put limitations on you, but the only limits on anyone are the limits they put on themselves.
There are many things I have wanted to share, show, teach, and see her experience. Often I fell short of my goals. One thing I have managed to do is to tell and show her I love her every day.
Today though she asked me a question I never expected. I’ve been prepared to talk about colleges, driving, and boys. But she surprised me again.
I collected my thoughts and gave her my best answer. An answer inline with those things we have discussed in the past. I’m worried if I gave her the right answer. I think I did, but did I?
I don’t know.
So, My question is ~ dad, what do you do when you’re in this situation? Send me a message and let me know your thoughts. We are all in this together. We want our kids to have the best chances they can. We try to do our best. But sometimes you just don’t know. Today was another one of those days for me.