I went to a funeral today, in the rain. My grandmother always said that rain during a funeral was tears from the angels. I did not know Jeff as well as I wanted too, and that was my fault. I have spent too much time as a gad-about, always leaving people and places behind. It has become easy to be friendly, but not too friendly.
I had picked out my dark suit for the funeral. Looking at it on my bed, I put it back. I grabbed my favorite light color suit. I was not going to mourn today; I wanted to celebrate the life of a good man.
Jeff was the first person I met when I transferred to the plant I work at now. Even then he struck me as different. The company I work for has over 12,000 employees, so remembering one person in particular is a big order. The last time I saw Jeff was a few years ago. He had 25 years with the company and had just taken a buy-out. I asked him what he was going to do, and he said he had a sugar maple camp and made maple syrup. I told him I would have to try some of his maple syrup, and he said I was welcome anytime. Not the normal well intended but hollow welcome people give one another either. No, he looked me in my eyes and shook my hand when he said it. Jeff’s welcome was warm and sincere; he wanted to see me sometime.
At a company, as large as ours, we lose several people a year. I do not go to the funerals. Though, today I felt compelled. I did not know why. I arrived and sat in the back row of the church in the corner. For an hour and a half I saw tears from a church full of people who mourned the loss of a dear friend, father, husband, and son. I also saw the tears from overwhelming laughter. You see, Jeff was a bit of a practical joker. Many of the thoughts people shared with us during the service were examples of his genuine great sense of humor. He was a man who could laugh with you, and at himself, but never at you. Like the time he was going to show some girls, at his house for a birthday party, how to ride a horse. You guessed it, he got bucked off. Later he lured them in to the kitchen to “watch two hairs fight”. When the girls had their faces close to the plate of water, watching the two hairs, down came Jeff’s hand splashing water over them all.
Jeff was many things to many people. He had a strong faith in God and a love of people. He sought out one man who had lost his wife, and was lost in his grief. Jeff comforted him. When people had a need he gave. He would mow a yard or leave firewood without saying a word to anyone. Jeff always left the recipient to wonder who his benefactor was. Jeff had compassion for all people. His family was his greatest love (after God). When Jeff and Deb wanted their four children to have a better education, they gave it to them. They educated themselves, so they would be able to educate their children, and they have done an outstanding job. Jeff was a doer.
Jeff had integrity, real integrity. You see integrity is a very small thing. Honesty and sincerity. That’s it, just two things. Over the last few years I lost my integrity. Oh, I am still honest, but I lost my sincerity. Over the last few years skepticism and sarcasm have replaced sincerity in my daily life. It has happened too many of us in the last few years. But, not to Jeff. Jeff, for 48 years, was always honest and sincere. Some might say brutally honest, without the brutality. Jeff was always straight forward, never mean, but always true to his beliefs.
Jeff had many gifts which he gave freely too those around him; compassion, friendship, faith, knowledge, time, love, humor, loyalty ,and sincerity (to name just a few).
As I left the church I realized everyone had their headlights on, and not just the funeral procession (it was still raining). Yes, they should be on, we all lost something today. When a great man leaves us we all lose a little. Jeff was a great man, but I still did not know why I felt compelled to be here. We need men like Jeff, but there are also other great people we have lost this year, why Jeff.
I knew why all of these people were here, but I still did not know why I needed to be here. I drove back with only the sound of my windshield wipers. Sad, but grateful. Grateful because I finally realized why I had to come and honor Jeff. Jeff had one more gift he needed to give. Jeff needed to give me back my integrity.
Thank you Jeff.
8 responses to “Jeff”
Your comments have encouraged, inspired, and overall put a smile on my face. I am nominating you for the Prego Project Award as a BIG thank you for your support… It means the world to me!! http://pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com/2012/12/12/prego-project-like-support-reblog/
Thank you. I am so very happy that my posts have helped you. There are so many who have helped me and inspired me over the years. I have just tried to share those people and the lessons they taught me with as many people as I can. I have been so very fortunate.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It’s so sad to hear about loss and death even tho we know it’s something we can’t do anything about!so
My stroke gave me many things that I am proud to have and/or to have back. The death of a part of me to help another part(s) live.
Glad you were able to get the same.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like you benefited from knowing him, and maybe that’s his final gift of friendship to you.
Funerals held in the wonter are always sadder. I think the season itself is a reminder that all things have an end. We can only hope we leave behind good memories of us when we are gone. Sounds like your friend did just that.
Jeff was a good man…glad you found what he wanted to give you before he left this earth to his new place of residency. When you see him again, I’ll bet you get another great handshake…
and a hug too. There is going to be a very big reunion when that day comes with many people that day, but then I am getting a few decades ahead of myself.