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by | February 17, 2013 · 12:00 am

Has Anyone Seen My Lance? — Chivalry Part 1


 I know I left it around here somewhere. Oh well, it will show up. I guess I really don’t need it to talk about chivalry.

Chivalry. I could give you the historical background of chivalry, the knight’s code and all of that. Its origins in medieval France, and the many aspects of chivalry. Naw … let’s just go for romantic chivalry. Not the romantic chivalry of college professor’s lectures either with all the poems and literature written in English (or so the experts say, I’ve never heard anyone speak like that). Nope. I am going to talk about opening doors and all that, well not all of that but I am going to start our conversation and then let you take from there.

First though a word about chivalry and feminism. I am not going to spend much time on this, we all have enough negativism in our lives and feminist are usually very negative on chivalry.

First to the feminist, despite what Katie Roiphe or some of her peers think, not all men are potential rapists. Some men may even find you repugnant or they may even be gay, but they opened the door for you because they were there first. Be kind (there is not enough kindness in the world). After you enter the door tell the man you appreciate his courtesy, but you prefer to get your own doors, you can even tell him you are a feminist if you want. Also, chivalry IS about respect and it is not about manipulation. Is this true for every man, I do not know. But it is true for myself and every man I know. Every woman is an individual and unique in her own special way, and so are all men. It is just that some men, like some women, are not very nice people.

Once I had a woman who was remarkably rude. I entered before her, shut the door in her face, smiled at her through the glass door, and then I turned and walked away … humming a happy tune. Very rude of me, and I have not done that since. However, her response to the door standing open before her was enough to make this sailor blush at her language. Now when a woman responds in a rude manner I simply reply, “Yes, and the president can get his own “damn doors” too, but he doesn’t.”

Now on to chivalry.

First there are things I will do for every woman (opening doors is one, even if I have to wait for her for a few seconds). But there are other things I do only for the woman I am with. Chivalry is not about “I am better than you”, “I am stronger than you”, “I belong to the dominate sex” or any of that other rubbish. Chivalry is about respect … period. The knight’s code did not just dictate courtesy to ladies, but to gentlemen as well, including the king.

At one time all chivalric gestures were from men to women. But modern women are getting into the act too. And I applaud them for it. Guys women like to give too, and you know how great it makes you feel to treat women with respect, so we need to not be selfish and let them enjoy that good feeling too. I always appreciate it when a woman opens a door for me. I respond with direct eye contact, a sincere “Thank You”, and a smile (I learn this from you, ladies). Sometimes women want to treat you, and pick up the tab or split the tab. Let them, turn around is fair. Now I am not saying all women are like that or that they should be. But if your lady is like this, don’t be selfish, let her.

Ok, what are some of the other things we can do to bring back chivalry.

Pulling out chairs for your lady. But I do not recommend pushing it in. I had this happen to me at a very nice restaurant once. I was not expecting it, and the waiter almost dumped me on the floor when he pushed the chair in. Let her pull her own chair up. You are trying to be respectful, so don’t throw her off balance literally.

When walking up stairs or across a lawn or any rough terrain, offer her your hand. Not the first three fingers, your hand. You try walking across a lawn or up stairs (or down) in high heels and see how easy it is …. not. When she is “dressed to the nines”, that usually means those very thin, very long, high heels. So unless you are prepared to see this woman you adore (and all women are worthy of adoration, even the ones who aren’t), then give her your hand. Give her your whole hand, palm up so she can lean on your hand, retain her balance, grace, and dignity.

When I am at a restaurant, whether it is just the two of us, or if there are others in our party as well. If it is my invitation, that means I am the host. I place the order with the waiter, and if there is a problem I address the waiter and have it taken care of. Women at the table, men at the table, it does not matter I am the host. However, if someone prefers to do this for themself, I defer to them. Chivalry is about respect, not making people feel uncomfortable by forcing them to do things your way.

I always like those cars before they became all electronic. Something I always watched for was a lady reaching across to unlock my door. You know what I am talking about. You walk her to her side of the car, your car keys in hand, insert the key, unlock her door open it for her and wait until she is seated, and then you close her door and walk to your side of the car. As you walk across the front of the car you look at her to smile at her and she is reaching across to unlock your door for you. Ladies I don’t care if it was the date from hell. With this once small act of chivalry, you just got me to ask you out for a second date.

You see chivalry, at its very heart, is about kindness and respect. You make someone feel special, because to you they are special. Chivalry is about taking an extra effort that you do not have to take, but you want too. Chivalry is about showing deference to someone, not because you have to, not because you are superior, not because they are inferior, but because you want too. A chivalrous act should never become automatic. No matter how many doors you open for strangers, for that one moment in time, that  one stranger is unique and special. Do not ruin it by keeping your eyes on your I-phone, look that man or woman in the eye and smile.

Have a chivalrous day!

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by | February 14, 2013 · 1:21 pm

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone


… go be romantic, bring back chivalry !

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day

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by | February 2, 2013 · 1:50 pm

The Ravens … Business as Usual


from the "Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl" facebook page.Courtney Lenz with team mates.

from the “Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl” facebook page.
Courtney Lenz with team mates.

I do not have scientific data to back me up on this, but I believe that bad influences can imprint themselves sometimes. We all know or have heard of a house that just “seems” evil when you look at it, then find out about a horrible crime that took place in the house. Apparently, I am not the only one who believes this. There are houses that cannot be sold after a horrendous crime and are torn down by local authorities.  But I also believe this influence can go even further, and it appears the influence of Art Modell is alive and well, even after his death, in the organization of the Ravens football team in Baltimore.

Loyalty is not an attribute that many people would use to describe Art Modell, and now the same can be said of the Ravens.

Bernie Kosaar spent the best years of his NFL quarterback career with the Cleveland Brown, when Art Modell owned the Browns. Kosar was a good quarterback with an excellent ability to read what a defense was going to do (the Miami Dolophin’s Dan Mureno used this to his advantage later when Kosar joined the Dolphins). Kosar’s problem in Cleveland was a bad offensive line, which kept him running from defensive lines almost every down.

Rather than build a better offensive line, the Browns cut Kosar before the end of the season. Not letting a player finish a season is considered a “slap in the face.” An insult that many in the NFL did not think Bernie had deserved. The Cleveland Browns fans agreed in their usual loud way. The Dallas Cowboys immediately picked up Kosar and went on to win the super bowl that year. Bernie Kosar not only got a super bowl ring, Modell did not have one yet, but he was the quarterback for the last couple of plays of the game.

One of the Cowboy’s players noted afterwards, there were more “Bernie Kosar” signs in the stands than for either of the two teams playing in the Super Bowl. Yup, that’s Browns fans, loyal and very vocal.

Fuchs and Kasperek Inc., used with permission from Al Fuchs.

Fuchs and Kasperek Inc., used with permission from Al Fuchs.

Next, in 1996, the city of Cleveland approached Art Modell to renegotiate with the team to keep the Browns in Cleveland. Art Modell told the city he did not want to begin negotiations during the season and would talk with them after the season. Then, with two games left in the season, good ol’ Art announced he was moving the team to Baltimore. Cleveland never saw it coming. The next time Modell went to Cleveland (he didn’t even show up for the Browns last two games) was many years later, but Browns fans do not forget.

You see Art Modell did not just lie to the city of Cleveland and to the Browns fans. He lied to the NFL too. The excuse he gave the NFL (when he asked their permission to move the team) was that the city would not give him a new stadium. Art’s mistake was that he told the NFL this the day before voters in Cleveland voted on a new football stadium. Seemed like good logic at the time. Announce the move before the vote. With no football team, no reason

for voters to vote tax dollars to build a new football stadium, and the taxpayers of Cleveland would prove his point. I may be a Dolphins fan (thank you for your sympathy) but even I knew Modell made a mistake. The day after the announcement, the Cleveland taxpayers, football fans and non-football fans alike, voted by an overwhelming majority (more than 70%) to build a new football stadium in a city that now had no football team. The city sued Modell and won. Modell moved the team, but it would be a new franchise named the Ravens. The name, records, and history of the Cleveland Browns football would stay in Cleveland.

from the "Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl" facebook page.Courtney Lenz with team mates.

from the “Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl” facebook page.
Courtney Lenz with team mates.

Even though Art Modell may be dead, it seems he has left his impression on the Ravens football team. This time the injured party is one of the Ravens cheerleaders, Courtney Lenz.

The team says that they would have liked to have taken all 60 cheerleaders, but the NFL limits them to 32 at the Super Bowl. The team used a selection criteria of seniority, performance, and personal conduct. The team went on to say that all the cheerleaders with more than three years of experience are going to the Super Bowl.

Courtney Lenz, the most experienced cheerleader on the squad, is the only cheerleader with more than three years experience not going. Courtney, a five-year veteran, announced earlier in the year she was retiring after the last game this year.

Courtney was also disciplined twice this year. This of course would be a hit on her “performance and personal conduct” portion of the selection criteria. What was she disciplined for?

Drug related issues? No.

Driving while under the influence? No.

Domestic violence? No.

Carrying a gun onto a plane? No.

Did she kill a member of the organization while driving drunk or on drugs? No.

Was she arrested for assault and battery? No.

Gambling? No.

A public scandal involving prostitution? No.

Courtney did not do any of these things. Though all of these actions have become so common, every year, among NFL players that they are barely noticed in the press. No, Courtney was benched for two games because she gained 1.6 pounds. That is one-point-six-pounds.

Even old football players who just do not have it anymore are given a couple snaps in the last game before their retirement. Not Courtney.

It has been reported that Courtney’s announced retirement did not go over very well with the team. But, whatever the reasons … Art Modell would be proud of his Ravens.

The fans started a facebook site and a petition to try to get Courtney re-instated. ( facebook and the petition ). As of 11:30 am New York time on Saturday, the petition has 29,288 signatures (mine is number 22,482), the facebook site had 7,572 likes.

I am not as big a fan of cheerleaders as I was 25 years ago. But, I am not politically correct when it comes to the attributes I find attractive in women either (for the record: natural physical attractiveness, intelligence, and weighs less than I do).

Cheerleaders have the reputation of being cute and dumb. An undeserved reputation I might add. The professional cheerleaders I have know were attractive, smart, and well educated; all having college degrees some even a master’s or doctor’s degree. Courtney has a bachelor’s degree and is leaving the Ravens for a job as a sales and marketing coordinator.

This isn’t just about a cute kid (hey, as old as I am most of your could be my kids). It is about honoring someone who has given loyal service to the team. Something Art Modell’s teams find to be a foreign concept.

So, from Bernie Kosar to Courtney Lenz, the “no-last-game-slap-in-the-face” is alive and well in Baltimore, thanks to our good friend … Art Modell.

Bernie Kosar

Bernie Kosar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from the "Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl" facebook page.Courtney Lenz

from the “Help us get Courtney to the Super Bowl” facebook page.
Courtney Lenz

“GO 49ERS !!!”

*** Credits ***

I would like to thank Al Fuchs of, Fuchs and Kasperek Inc., for permission to use their photograph for this article. If you would like to see a better image of their photograph used in this article, or any of their other fantastic photographs, go to

http://bit.ly/11aVthv

You may also purchase a copy of any of their photographs.

(I am in no way associated with Fuchs and Kasperek Inc. )

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by | January 27, 2013 · 12:00 am

Blog Hop


What’s a blog hop? Well this one was started by Scott’s friend Arianna. It is an interview, a list of ten questions. Each writer answers the ten questions and then selects five more writers they would like to interview. While learning something about those we like to read (and what they are working on now) it introduces our favorite writers to a wider audience of others who also might like their work.

Thank you Scott, I appreciate the opportunity. So, without further ado here we go:

1-      What is the working title of your book? The Quitter.

2-      Where did the idea come from for the book? Everywhere and nowhere. The main premise just popped into my head one day and I started toying with the idea in my head. All of my work begins with just one idea that percolates in my mind for days, weeks or months. Then I begin to talk the idea out, by the time I actually  put “pen to paper” I already know the whole story, and it is just a matter of getting to the details.

3-      What genre does your book fall under? I am not sure, I usually read either non-fiction or classic fiction. If I had to guess I would say probably adventure drama.

But, the strong connection between Ron and his ex-girlfriend Sara plays a big part in Ron’s transformation. Sara intuitively and intimately knows Ron. She is the only person in Ron’s life who has ever known him this well. His loss of Sara and his desire to tell her how sorry he is pushes him as a much as his desire to live.

4-      Which actor would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Ron, Craig Sheffer as Bill and Jennifer Connelly as Sara.

I actually answered this question last. I didn’t want to give the usual Brad Pitt answer. I thought about what kind of recommendations I would give to a director. I wanted people who “looked the part.” The part of Ron I felt was the most crucial. You learn about his life through flashbacks, but the real action is Ron alone trying to survive nature while re-living a life of mistakes and missed opportunities. Ron’s attitude, emotions and drive swing quite a bit during the story and I ended up thinking no one could pull that off better than Philip Hoffman.

5-      What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?  A tragedy in the wilderness brings a halt to Ron’s life of running away, but is it too late to save his life, and his relationship with the one woman he truly loves?

6-      Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? Neither, I have a publisher in the United Kingdom that read a sample, and wants to publish it.

7-      How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? A lifetime.

8-      What other books would compare to this work within your genre? Well, I don’t usually read books in this genre so I can’t really say. But if anyone out there has any suggestions after reading it I would like to hear them.

9-      Who or what inspired you to write this book? My dad was always telling me I was a failure and couldn’t do anything on my own. Sometimes I would not try my best at the things I did. If I didn’t try, then it wasn’t that I lost, I just didn’t try, and dad was wrong. But, when I began to get over this, I saw it in other people around me both strangers and people I know. People who lack self-confidence, and don’t try their hardest because they believe they will fail before they even start. Ron is someone like that, who finds himself in a situation where he has to try or die.

I think people are amazing and that EVERYONE has a great talent within them. Most people when they lose, someone else did not beat them, they beat themselves.

10-  What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? I think Ron’s hand-to-paw fight with a grizzly bear is a dramatic point, both for the book and for Ron. I spent a month reading nothing but grizzly bear attack reports. If Ron was killed by the bear, there would be no book. But I wanted a scene that could happen, something believable. It was a hard scene to write and took longer than any other scene in the book.

 

The writers I tagged are: Each author below is totally different from the other four. Sheri is also the only poet in the group. There were so many others I wanted to add, but I stuck with the foremat of five.

1- Sheri, The Other Side Of Ugly

2-  J.G. Burdette, Map of Time/A Trip into the Past

3- Deborah Rose Reeves, First we Read Then We Write

4- Barry, The Way I See It

5- K C Leighton

I recommend you check out all their sites as they are incredible writers and people. They all inspire me to become a better person!

Message for tagged authors: Rules of the Next Big Thing

***Use this format for your post

***Answer the ten questions about your current WIP (work in progress)

***Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them.


Hope you all have a wonderful start to your week and take care!

 

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by | January 13, 2013 · 12:49 am

Jocko … a Racist Icon or Deliverer of the Oppressed?


image of lawn jockey

image of lawn jockey, the Jocko style (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most lawn jockeys today are white, but over 100 years ago most were black. There are two styles of lawn jockey, the Jocko (black) and the Cavalier Spirit (white). The Jocko is the lawn jockey that interests us now.

The jocko lawn jockey had exaggerated features; big eyes, flat nose, curly hair and large lips. The skin tone was often a gloss black and during the American Civil War, they were made of cast iron. Legend has it that the inspiration for the Jock lawn jockey goes back to an American Revolutionary War hero, under General George Washington, though no supporting evidence has been discovered yet.

Charles Blockson, the curator of the Afro-American Collection at Temple University in Philadelphia Pennsylvania, states the Jockos were used in the underground railroad during the civil war. He goes on to state that a green ribbon tied to the statue meant it was safe and a red ribbon meant it was not safe. Mr. Blockson says that many people who do not know the history of Jocko have feelings of humiliation and anger when they see the statue.

Many people discredit the Underground Railroad affiliation because red and green signals meaning stop/go or danger/safe were not standardized until World War One. If it were not for Judge Benjamin Piatt and his wife, I would have to agree.

Judge Piatt built a house in what is today West Liberty, Ohio; in Logan County. Judge Piatt was also the father of Don and Abram Piatt. The two brothers built the Piatt Castles (Mac-O-Chee and Mac-A-Cheek) after the civil war. The Castles are open for tours from spring to fall. Mrs. Piatt was an abolitionists and Benjamin Piatt a circuit judge. Due to the Fugitive Slave Act, the judge could not associate with his wife’s abolitionist work. Mrs. Piatt used their home as a station for runaway slaves going to Canada. When the judge was away Mrs. Piatt put a small American flag in Jocko’s hand to show it was safe. When the judge was home Mrs. Piatt removed the flag so the conductor and runaway slaves would know it was not safe to stop.

Being an officer of the court the judge had to enforce the Fugitive Slave Act and could not be aware of her activities. But of course the judge was no fool and was perfectly aware of his wife’s activities. To ensure he would remain ignorant of his wife’s activities he would always send a messenger to tell his wife when he was coming home.

You decide. Is Jocko an icon of racism or a deliverer of the oppressed?

In the future I will write more about the Piatt family and their wonderful castles.

English: Side of Mac-A-Cheek Castle, located o...

English: Side of Mac-A-Cheek Castle, located off State Route 245 east of West Liberty in Monroe Township, Logan County, , . Built in 1864, it and the nearby Mac-O-Chee Castle are operated as historic house museums. Under the name of “Abram S. Piatt House and Donn S. Piatt House”, the Piatt Castles are listed on the . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Front and side of Mac-O-Chee Castle, ...

English: Front and side of Mac-O-Chee Castle, located off State Route 245 east of West Liberty in Monroe Township, Logan County, , . Built in 1864, it and the nearby Mac-A-Cheek Castle are operated as historic house museums. Under the name of “Abram S. Piatt House and Donn S. Piatt House”, the Piatt Castles are listed on the . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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