Category Archives: family

by | November 11, 2012 · 2:51 pm

Of Rocking Chairs and Dance Lessons


This week we are going to talk about next year, 2013. YOUR 2013. I have a Thanksgiving Day article (American holiday on the November 22 this year) about a man and his partners, a team we can all be thankful for; then on to sailing ships and airships. But, this week we will talk about 2013 and how exciting a year it is going to be for you. Some of you may not think so now, but by this time next year, you will be thankful for 2013.

Next year the economy is going to change, and with it, you will be closer to where you should be in life, where you were born to be. As you know, I believe everyone is an expert at something, a genius who stands head-and-shoulders above the rest of us. You are so good at one thing, which would seem like drudgery to the rest of us, that it is fun for you. It energizes you, puts a smile on your face, and turns the hours into mere minutes. This is where you are going next year.

Next year the economy will get better, or it will get worse. My crystal ball is in the shop for repair right now, so I cannot tell which; but it does not matter which (and you will see why). With this change will come your opportunity, but you need to do a few things first so you may take advantage of the opportunity when it comes. If the economy does get worse, do not worry about it. Your opportunity will still come to you and you will shine. Worry and fear are like a rocking chair, they keep you busy but they do not get you anywhere.

You know that one thing which is your heart’s desire? “One of these days I will have my own auto shop.” or “One of these days I will be an artist.” … or a writer, teacher, designer or maybe a promotion at work; whatever it is, it is the one thing you shine at, for you it is not work. Next year is the year you begin to work towards that goal. Do not give up your “day job” just yet. You still need to pay the rent. But, next year, is the year you begin to change your profession.

First. Stop saying, “I am going to be a _____.” As long as you always say, “I am going to be a ____.” Then you will never be that, you will always be “… going to be …” YOU ARE! If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got.

Sound silly? As I was writing an article for you this summer at my favorite coffee shop, I got up for a refill and a man stopped me. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” Sure, go ahead. “Do you come in here often? What are you doing? Why do you come here? Do you drink coffee? Did you see the new scientific study on coffee?”

The important point here is that when he asked what I was doing I told him I was writing my weekly article and that I like to write at that coffee shop, I like the atmosphere. That night on the local evening news, I saw a teaser for the story (on the new coffee study) following the break. The teaser was my face. When they came back from the break, there was my face again and the announcer started with “We are here at a local coffee shop talking with local writer Joe Combs …” Is it my only job, my “day job?” No, but I pay my water bill with my royalties; and full time writing is where I am going. I am a writer. I also build cars for a major car company to pay my mortgage. But, I began by paying my water bill with writing. I have a plan to be a full time writer and as of today, I am ahead of schedule. Let’s get back to what is important though, YOU.

Write on a piece of paper what you are (your new profession), the job that is going to replace your current “day job.” Keep that with you, always, look at it every day, and read it aloud to yourself every day. “I am a ____.” When someone asks what you do, THAT is what you tell them, not your “day job.”

Look at what you do every day now. Then look at what you will be doing every day then, at your next profession. Write these down on a piece of paper in two columns. Choose one thing from the column on your new career, and begin doing that. In my case, a writer writes. When I am working on a book, it is easy to put the manuscript aside for weeks at a time. But, a writer writes and that is not writing. Now I write weekly articles for you. Now I write on a regular basis. Every week I write an article for you, just as I will do when I write full time.

Pick one item on your list and begin doing that one thing on a regular basis. Then add another, then another; keep doing this.

Next, get business cards. There are several companies offering 250 business cards free, you just pay about $8 for shipping (Google “free business cards” and take your pick). Use that company’s online software to design a professional card. Include your professional e-mail address, if you do not have one get one; and use it only for your new profession … no personal stuff. Do not put a phone number on the card, unless you plan on answering the phone as your new profession (“Bill’s Flower Shop, how may I help you?”)

Surround yourself with at least two other people who believe in you as the new professional that you are now. People who are active and encouraging. I joined a writers group, but soon discovered most of those people were always talking about writing, but did very little writing. I quit that group and met other people who were active, believed in me, and were supportive. We support and encourage each other. After my readers, they are the most important people in my writing career.

Next, get a free website and use their software to design your website. It is easy; you do not need to know any codes or software programming languages.

Sometime next year the opportunity will come for you to spend more time at your new profession. Maybe someone will come to you with an offer of work for you; whatever that opportunity is, it will come next year. Remember, no fear, no worry; just do it! You did the things now to position yourself to take advantage of that opportunity next year … so … JUST DO IT!

As you change your attitude and become this professional that you were meant to be, you will attract people to you who will help you, and that you can help. Likes attract … always. Positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. Positive people do not like to be around people who constantly complain. You are evolving and as you become the person you were meant to be, you will become more positive and more successful. It is a never ending circle (both the positive and the negative, so use the positive). As you become more successful you will become more positive, as you become more positive you will become more successful.

Those people who criticize and say negative things to you (“… you can’t do that …” or “… you’ll never be …”  or “… who would listen to you?”, and etc.), cut them loose. Remember this phrase “If your presence cannot add value to my life, your absence will make no difference.” You do not have to be mean about it, but if you do not avoid the negativity of those people, you will let them drag you back down into the pit.

Up to now you have thought of your passion as only having meaning for yourself; you could not possibly be more wrong. There are enough people, your future customers, who need your expertise, that over time they replace your “day job” with more money than you make currently at your “day job.”

Still do not believe me? Let me give you an example.

Several years ago I walked into a men’s shop, looking for a new shirt. The young man at the shirt counter greeted me with, “Yes?”. I told him I wanted a new shirt. He showed me a vertically striped shirt with colors I did not like, and a gaudy, diagonally striped tie. I was wearing a solid color, dark suit, with a solid color, light shirt, and my diagonally striped, conservative, “power” tie. What this young man showed me I would not be buried in.

The next store I walked into the man behind the shirt counter asked, “Are you looking for a shirt for a special occasion or every day?” He selected five shirts for me to look at, and placed them on the counter. He then picked up a light blue shirt with white collar and cuffs, paused, then returned it to the shelf. I hate that style of shirts; he just gained points with me. I looked over the one shirt with a button down collar (I rarely wear those), picked up the striped shirt (which I liked a better than the other striped shirt at the other store), then examined the remaining three shirts. Three shirts with no button down collar, light in color, solid in color. Three shirts that would look good in a dark suit, any dark suit. He then picked three ties (two solid, one with diagonal stripes), holding each tie wrapped around his fingers and against each shirt; so I could see how each tie would look when tied, and so I could see how each tie matched each shirt. I came in for one shirt; I bought three shirts and three ties. This man did not just make a sale; he had a regular customer in me, right up until the day he retired.

The first salesman had a job. The second salesman was doing something he loved. The second salesman observed my personality and the clothes I was wearing when I came in, and selected three shirts that he knew I would like, and two shirts to learn more about my preferences. Then he used all that information (and he did this without asking me anything except that one question) and selected three ties that would go with any of the three shirts, and matched my taste. Over time, he even got me to add a few light colored suits to my closet.

This man enjoyed his work, he was good at it, it was what he was meant to be, and he knew it. He knew good quality mens clothes, he knew how to size up a customer and show him styles he would like, he even knew how and when to get a customer to expand his tastes. He knew what clothes would make each of his customers look their best, and he enjoyed doing just that. He was very fussy during a fitting  to insure that the suit was tailored just right to make a customer look his best. He always made me put in my pockets the things I normally carried in my pockets, before marking the suit for adjustments, to ensure the cut would be just right when I wore the suit. I trusted and relied on this man’s judgment. If he had taken employment at a different store, I would have become a regular customer at that store. I sometimes wonder how many faithful customers he had.

You have that within you. There are people who will line up for what you have to offer. That first salesman will never be as good as the second salesman. The first man is working a job, a job he probably does not like. The second salesman was doing a job that for him was not a job, it was something he always wanted to do.

So, get yourself ready now to take that opportunity next year; and when “… you get a chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance …”

So, what is stopping you.

P.S. If men’s clothing is your interest, and you just happen to move to Columbus, Ohio let me know. Like I said, my guy retired, and I still have not found anyone I would return too.

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by | November 6, 2012 · 2:11 pm

November 6, 2012


Elizabeth did not have school today (they have been off for three days, I still haven’t figured out why), so I had her with me this morning, and I took her to vote with me. I thought it would be a quick in-and-out, like the old days when almost no one voted. In Ohio we have been voting for a month, and the early voting lines this past weekend here in Columbus were 40 minutes long. Took us an hour … guess I blew that one.

The poll worker handling my vote told me he expects our precinct turn-out to be 75-80%, I have never seen that before. Then on the radio going back home they were reporting record level turn-outs around the state. That must be good for someone, but I don’t know who.

Anyway, back to the reason for our conversation today. My next-ex-wife woke me up to tell me not to teach Elizabeth one party or the other because Marine and I don’t vote the same way (she votes a straight party ticket). Well … I am not surprised she said that, if she really knew me she would know I never vote ANY party ticket (but then again if she really knew me we would probably not be getting a divorce).

So, anyway I decided to explain everything to Elizabeth like I have explained it to first time voters before. I explained that voting is a responsibility, not a right (my grandfather hounded that into me, and he never did tell me who he voted for). Then I explained how I found information about the issues and the candidates, and followed that up with quite a bit more information, remember I had almost an hour to kill. I answered her questions (except when she asked who I was voting for). Then we voted.

When we got back to the car I asked Elizabeth, “So, what did you learn about voting Sweetheart?” She said, “It’s not the party that is important, it is the people, and I am writing that down.”

And she is only seven … right on, you just made daddy proud.

So … who did I vote for? Well … I voted for … some D’s, some R’s, and a few that had other letters after their names (2 others to be exact). Hey, I always told ya’ll here on this page I do not take sides on politics or religion.

Now, don’t forget to vote and have a great day!

Voting

Voting (Photo credit: League of Women Voters of California)

Flag of the city of Columbus, Ohio, USA. Self-...

Flag of the city of Columbus, Ohio, USA. Self-drawn, based upon Image:Columbus city seal n6168.svg. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Ohio Statehouse in Columbus where the Ohio...

The Ohio Statehouse in Columbus where the Ohio Senate meets. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am not taking sides one way or the other on the links to articles below. I put these up only as a sample of what is out there already and we still have 5 hours of voting to go. The articles below are the “related articles” recommended by my web host. Looks like it is going to be a long day (think I turn the radio off … I already quit watching TV).

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by | November 4, 2012 · 12:00 am

Something For Yourself


I want to ask you to do something for yourself, but I need to tell you a couple of stories first.

This past week (just before Halloween), the Halloween stuff went on sale and the Christmas stuff came out at my local Kroger’s. I was telling this to my mother and it prompted a conversation about her best Christmas. That very same Christmas was my worst Christmas, but as a dad myself now, I can understand the parent side and the child side of that one Christmas, but I am getting ahead of myself.

When I was ten years old (gee has it really been 40 years ago … I can’t be that old) we were not going to have a Christmas. It was not that my brothers and I had been bad. My youngest brother had just been born on the 10th of December; we were already poor, and in a time when most people had to pay their own medical bills for the birth of a baby, the birth of Jason used all of the money my parents had. So, this year there would be no Christmas. With two older sons (I was ten and Jeff was eight) in the house to feed as well, there would be no presents for Christmas … for anyone.

Then a local minister, that knew our family’s situation, stepped forward. He mobilized his church and they came through with Christmas for us. He got in a lot of trouble for this when his congregation found out we were not members of their church, he could have lost his job. But, he stood his ground, it was the right thing to do, it was the Christian thing to do, and he was glad he did it. I guess you could say his attitude was consequences be damned, he was helping this family (though the word damn is not in his vocabulary). As an adult I will always be grateful to him for risking his job (and when you place your job at risk you are also placing your family at risk) to help us. My mother will always be grateful because her boys had presents to open on Christmas morning.

I understand that parental pain. We tell our children that Santa has a list of good boys and girls, and that he checks it twice. Then, Christmas morning your child runs to the tree and there is nothing under the tree. Even if they can hold back the tears, even if they do not ask the questions out loud, the questions are still there … and unanswered. “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t Santa bring me anything? With all the boys and girls in the whole world, did he just forget me?” Then comes the return to school and all the pain comes back again. All the other kids talking about what they got for Christmas and asking you what you got for Christmas. What did you get for Christmas? Nothing. The boy who got only socks does not feel so bad now.

My brother and I did not have to go through this. That church provided all the gifts we opened. My younger brother had a great Christmas and played with his toys non-stop all day. But like I said this was my worst Christmas ever, maybe I noticed this one small little thing because I was older than Jeff. Maybe, I noticed this one little difference because, as my grandfather used to say behind my back, I had an “old head on my shoulders.”

Whatever the reason I did notice the difference, the difference I noticed was that not one of my gifts had my name on the package. Every one of my gifts was addressed to “boy age 10.” I explained the parent side of this Christmas. Now I want to explain the ten-year-old-little-boy side of this Christmas.

I had no presents for Christmas. Sure I had stuff to open, but those presents were not for me, those presents were not “To: Joe From: Santa”, or from anyone else for that matter. I am Joe, I am not “boy age ten”. I went to school with a classroom full of “boy age ten.” If those gifts had been for me, they would have been addressed “To: Joe.” I knew I had not been a bad boy that year. Not only had I tried to be good, but as soon as my baby brother, Jason, came home I started feeding, changing, and taking care of him as much as possible. I watched him, bathed him, and in the future there would be many times when I was both mother and father to him. That cost me, to this day Jason and I have never had that brother-to-brother relationship (but that is another story, one that I am not going to share). My point is that I knew I was not bad, but I also knew that no one went to the store to buy a present for Joe C Combs 2nd. Someone went to the store to buy Christmas gifts for a generic boy who was “age ten.” That hurt, that hurt just like that kid I described in the fifth paragraph above. I did not say anything … to anyone. My mother did not know how I felt until this past week when we talked about that Christmas 40 years ago.

I think part of the reason I stayed quiet for so long was because I understood the intention. The intention was caring, thoughtful, and loving; I knew there were other kids that did not have anything to open, or if they did have something to open, it was only a few packages of things they needed, like socks. I was ten, but I understood these things, and I did not want to hurt anyone else’s feelings.

Why is it that two little boys are abused as children and one becomes a killer while the other one becomes a pediatrician that spends his weekends giving free medical care at the orphanage? In life, it is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. The one little boy passes the abuse to the next generation and the other little boy becomes a doctor and breaks that chain. That second little boy says “NO! No more will this abuse be passed to the next generation.” Not everything is as large as becoming a doctor or a killer, most things are small. Some things are so small that other people do not notice them, but you do. You know that small little thing (that no one else notices) that happened to you and to your parents before you. You know that you do not like that small thing, it may even hurt your feelings. Do you see the incredible power you have. You. You and no one else has the power to pass that on to another person or to say to yourself, “No. No more will this be passed to another person.” You have that power, no one else has that power, not your parents, your brother or sister, not the President of the United States. You and you alone have that power.

What I did was to spend the next forty years giving something to someone every Christmas, someone who was in need. I now include my daughter.  But, every time I give something it has that person’s name attached to it. I give anonymously, and sometimes I never know who the receiver is (like the angel trees in stores), but I always make sure the receiver’s name is on that package; always, every time, no exceptions.

One year I went to someplace collecting things and had this conversation (this is word for word, or as much of it as I can remember 22 years later).

“Excuse me. I bought this gift, but I want to make sure the child’s name will go on the gift.”

“Sir, we are not allowed to tell you who the gifts go to.”

“I do not care who gets the gift, I just want to make sure the gift will have the child’s name on it when they get it.”

“I’m not allowed to tell you who will get the gift.”

“I do not want to know the child’s name, I just want to know the gift will have the child’s name on it before they get it.”

“We do not give out the names of the people receiving the gifts.”

“Good. I do not want to know the name. But, if you cannot tell me a name will go on this before a kid gets it then I will keep it.”

She still would not guarantee me that the kid’s name would go on the gift. So, I went to Wal-Mart. The angel tree at Wal-Mart had angel cutouts with a child’s first name, age, sizes, and a toy that they wanted too. I walked up to the customer service desk and had this conversation.

“I have a gift I want to give for your angel tree, but I did not buy it here. Is that ok?”

“Oh yes sir. Thank you sir. You can leave it here if you want too, and I will take care of it for you.”

“I just didn’t know if you would accept something from another store for your angel tree.”

“We would like you to buy it here, but you do not have too. It’s about the kids.”

Yes Wal-Mart, it is about the kids, you are right. So, I left my gift at a Wal-Mart where I knew the child’s name would go on the gift before it was delivered. I know Wal-Mart gets bad publicity sometimes, but for everything I don’t like about them, I will never say anything bad about them because of two employees (this woman is the first and I will tell you another time about the second).

So, what is it I want you to do for yourself this Christmas? I want you to give something to someone anonymously. I want you to go to a church, fire station (remember Toys For Tots, the fire departments do this every year with the Marine Corps Reserve), or one of those angel trees and give something, something for a child. I know many of you are having a hard time now, and do not know what you will do for Christmas for your family. Just donate a pair of mittens to keep a child’s fingers warm. You have seven weeks. Take a coffee cup, set it on your counter and put some of your change in it every day, all your quarters, or all your dimes if you cannot spare all of your change. At the end of those seven weeks you will be able to buy those mittens, who knows maybe you will be able to buy two pairs and help two children.

I do not enjoy competition. I have awards in several fields (art, music, writing, military service & etc), people do not take you seriously if you do not have awards. My philosophy has always been that no matter how good you are someone is better, no matter how bad you are someone is worse. That applies to finances too. No matter how good you have it, someone is better off. No matter how bad your money is now, someone is worse off.

Yes, I know some of you are struggling right now, but there are those in worse shape than yourself and your family. One pair of mittens may not seem like much, but it may be the whole world to a child this Christmas. Maybe one pair of mittens is a big deal for you this year. Do you remember the Christmas story about the woman who cut her hair and sold it to buy a watch chain for her husband, while her husband was selling his pocket watch to buy silver hair combs for his wife for Christmas? It was everything they had. It was a Christmas when a husband and wife gave not only their most prized possession, but their only possession for each other.

Giving to someone else does something for you and to you. The harder it is for you to give, the more you receive when you give. I can’t explain it, but it is so, I know from experience.

So, this year I want you to give something to a stranger for Christmas, THAT is what I want to ask you to do for yourself.

Thank you, and may you have a good holiday season, and may you always feel the love that only giving creates.

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Esperanto: Patro Kristnasko kaj malgranda knabino Suomi: Joulupukki ja pieni tyttö (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Examination and Trial of Father Christmas,...

The Examination and Trial of Father Christmas, (1686), published shortly after Christmas was reinstated as a holy day in England. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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by | September 23, 2012 · 12:00 am

What Encourages Me


It has been a long hard week, and I am exhausted. Yet, I always find things that encourage me to go ever onward and upward. One thing that always seems to encourage me is meeting immigrants and having conversations with them. I have always liked being around immigrants (legal ones I am talking about here). I know the troubles, time, and money it costs to get to the United States. My daughter’s mother and I were married before she immigrated to the United States, and though you would think that made it easier, it did not. (Why would our government make it hard for a veteran with war time service to get his wife into America right? Ya, you keep thinking that.)

What I like about immigrants is that they know why they are here. They know what America offers them. They know America’s great gifts and great faults. They are glad to be here and often come with only the clothes they are wearing and little more. They take whatever jobs they can get, no matter what the pay. They work hard and never look back. They know the opportunity that awaits them here. They know they will not “make it” the first time, and maybe not the fifteenth time. But they know they will make it, they know the opportunity is there and with hard work they can achieve their goals. They just don’t quit. When they make it they give back to the community and think nothing of giving a hand up to others to help them succeed too, and will tell you about every person who helped them. They also know more about our country and its history than most Americans.

This week I met a man from Venezuela and we discussed the great hero Simon Bolivar. (I am writing an article about him, if you don’t know Simon Bolivar you need too. He has always been a hero of mine.) The next person I met was a man who immigrated from Moscow. We had a long conversation, but then I love Russian people, my daughter is half Russian, and I can’t wait to get back to Russia for another visit. Great history great people.

As if that was not enough, my daughter Elizabeth has decided to start her own business making jewelry to help mom and dad. What a kid and only 7 years old. I started to explain to Elizabeth what an entrepeneur is and what it takes to start a business. (I wasn’t talking about a lemon aid stand.) So, we went to a craft store and started taking count of what she needed to start her jewelry making business. We met a wonderful woman who has her own jewelry making business and talked with Elizabeth, adult to adult, about the good and bad of the business, while also giving Elizabeth some great advice. So, Elizabeth has her business plan (she did it, not dad) and her short and long-term goals. I agreed to be her banker to get her started, and since she is my daughter and I love her so much, I told her I would loan her a start-up at 0% interest while explaining the interests a bank would charge and why.

So, I guess my 7 year old daughter is a business woman now and she has done it on her own. Now if that isn’t a week to pick you up and get you going, I just don’t know what is.

I hope you have a great week too! Take care!

English: Monument to Simon Bolivar, with flowe...

English: Monument to Simon Bolivar, with flowers of Venezuela Government, at Venezuela square of Bilbao. Español: Monumento a Simón Bolívar, con corona de flores del Gobierno de Venezuela, en la plaza de Venezuela de Bilbao. Euskara: Simon Bolivarri monumentua Venezuelako gobernuaren lore koroarekin Bilboko Venezuela enparantzan. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Statue of Simon Bolivar in Washington...

English: Statue of Simon Bolivar in Washington DC, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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by | September 16, 2012 · 12:00 am

What Were You Doing When …?


Life is made up of milestones, moments in time we remember in detail. Many times these moments change the course of history like the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor the morning of 7 December 1941. Sometimes these moments change how we look at our society such as the assassinations of President John F Kennedy (22 November 1963) or Dr. Martin Luther King (4 April 1968). Sometimes these moments signify the end of a bad time in our society like 20 January 1981, or the beginning of something new and wonderful like Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. At other times, these moments signify the end of an era like 9 November 1989.

What were you doing on …

  • … 20 January 2009, when the first black president was sworn into office?
  • … 1 February 2003, when the space shuttle Columbia disintegrated on its landing approach?
  • … 11 September 2001, when the world trade towers fell?
  • … 25 December 1991, when the Soviet Union dissolved?
  • … 9 November 1989, when the Berlin wall came down?
  • … 12 June 1987, when Reagan gave his “ … tear down this wall!” speech?
  • … 28 January 1986, when the space shuttle Challenger exploded on takeoff?
  • … 30 March 1981, when President Ronald Reagan was shot (first president shot since JFK)?
  • … 20 January 1981, when the Iranian hostages came home?
  • … 9 August 1974, when President Nixon resigned (first presidential resignation in history)?
  • … 4 April 1968, when Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated?
  • … 20 July 1969, when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon?
  • … 22 November 1963, when President John F Kennedy was assassinated?

Some dates are shared by the world, some by just one nation, others by just one family or group of friends. Whatever the event, worldwide or personal, the memories tied to that event are personal and involve our family and friends.

Two events from my family’s collective memories mark the beginning and the end of the 1960’s.

Anyone who has parented, baby-sat, or stood in line behind a two-year-old boy knows they are in constant motion. Little boys seem to be grabbing, pushing, pulling, and throwing everything within their grasp; and telling everyone and no one in particular, about it while they are in action. Sleep is the only thing that seems to arrest their verbal and physical assault on the world.

This fall afternoon in the early 1960’s began like so many others. My father was at work, my mother was busy in the kitchen, and I was in my playpen in the living room. The TV was on nearby while I trashed about safely in my playpen exercising my vocal cords. Suddenly all was quiet, my mother rushed into the living room to see what had happened.

She found me standing quietly in my playpen in the corner absorbed by the equally quiet TV. She followed my gaze and saw a black screen with the following words in white, “We interrupt this program for an important announcement.” Next, she saw Walter Cronkite tears flowing as he looked into the camera.

“President John F. Kennedy was just shot in Dallas, Texas …”

My mother still tells the story of how her 22-month-old son told her the president was assassinated. The next event was the culmination of nearly a decade of work by thousands of people, the completion of a goal set by President Kennedy.

My bedtime at age seven was 7 pm; this particular evening was no different. What was different was that by the time I had fallen asleep; my parents were waking me up and bringing me down stairs to watch TV for a few minutes before putting me back into bed. I was not very happy about this at the time I was tired. Again, the master of ceremonies was Walter Cronkite, an excited and happy Walter Cronkite.

However, unlike the earlier Cronkite appearance, Walter shared the airtime; the other person was dressed in a white suit that made him look like the Pillsbury doughboy and clumsily walking across a dessert. This other image was not very good quality either. Soon after we heard, “… one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind …” I was sent back to bed.

Throughout our lives, we confront events that sometimes shape who we are, and sometimes proclaim to the world who we have become. Many of the events in our lives we cannot control, but how we respond to them we do control. Those reactions that seem to contradict our experience, or place others above ourselves are the moments that define our character. When you trust a stranger, when previous strangers have proved their unworthiness to be trusted, when you share your last dollar with a beggar on the street at a time when you do not know where your own next meal will come from; that is the moment when you build your own character.

Have you ever found a small child left alone in a car at the mall? What did you do? Did you make a comment to yourself or companion and continue on your way? Did you call the police and wait for them to arrive? You do not know the circumstances that put that child in the car alone. It could be a parent shopping for new shoes that left that child, or it could be the first time in days that the child has finally slept and the parent is getting medicine from the pharmacy for the child; most likely the reason is somewhere in between. The best reaction may be to keep the car in sight, looking out for the child, until the parent gets back. You do not have time for that you say. No, but you have time to wait for the police. That haggard look on the young mother’s face may be from partying all night the night before, it may be she has not had any sleep the last several days as she walked the floor with a sick child.

What you do and why you do it is a combination of things; your personal experience, personal knowledge, the environment under which you grew to adulthood. However, there is also a part of you that is inherited; we are not talking DNA (though that may be part of it). There are things families share from generation to generation that scientists cannot explain (but they are trying). Years after my maternal grandfather died, I am still finding things I have in common with him.

My grandfather started his adult life before most people do. He joined the navy, wanted to be an architect, worked on the railroad, and eventually worked for himself. He lost a daughter, was married twice, and along the way he collected coins, became a great observer and respecter of people. He always had a paperback in his back pocket when he left the house and wore a snap-brim hat in public. He drew beautiful sketches for the rest of his life, all but a few never survived. Bernerd E. Goodykoontz also had one daughter with his second wife when he was middle-aged.

I never saw my grandfather in public; he was retired when I came along. Except for the work on the railroad and the coin collecting I never knew those things about my grandfather. The coin collecting I found out about after I painstakingly put together a birth year coin set for him (it was expensive for a ten year old he was born in 1905). All the other things I found out about after he passed away. All of those things I have in common with my grandfather every single one (except the railroad). Some may say, “That’s DNA”, but DNA does not explain all of it. It also does not explain why the Goodykoontz men going back 250 years (in my direct line) became fathers in their 40’s and 50’s (Bernerd was the exception, he was 38 years old when my mother was born).

The most striking difference between my grandfather and me was that he kept his personal life hidden inside, while I hide very little, if anything, of myself. We were even of the same physical stature (his suits fit me without additional tailoring).

Here is my point. You are important. Regardless of the particulars of your birth, you were no accident. Someone in the future, one of your descendents, will take an interest in you. It may not even be a direct descendent, it could be a descendent of a brother, sister, or even a cousin, but someone will take an interest. They will identify with you; they will see you in themselves.

At a point in their lives when life seems to have given them a rotten apple, they will draw encouragement from you. They will look to you to discover how to handle their predicament. Maybe they will look to see what they should do, or see what did not work for you, but they will look up to you. That connection that they feel with you will also give them a sense of belonging in the world; you will make them feel like family, even if they were orphaned at a young age. You will give them the strength to continue, when so many others have simply given up.

Give that person a chance; give them the encouragement they deserve. Talk with that person; record your voice for them, or write a letter. Tell them “what you were doing when …”, tell them about your daily life, the things you love and the things that irritate you. The things you say may not seem like much to you, but it will be worth more than silver and gold to them. Though you will never get a chance to meet that person, you may just be the only person who can help them in their hour of need.

Cronkite announcing the death of President Ken...

Cronkite announcing the death of President Kennedy on November 22, 1963 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

President Lyndon B. Johnson and Rev. Dr. Marti...

President Lyndon B. Johnson and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. meet at the White House, 1966 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Neil Armstrong photographed by Buzz Aldrin aft...

Neil Armstrong photographed by Buzz Aldrin after the completion of the Lunar EVA on the Apollo 11 flight (brighter and smaller version) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Astronauts Michael Collins (left), Neil Armstr...

Astronauts Michael Collins (left), Neil Armstrong (2nd right), and Buzz Aldrin (right), with Former President George W. Bush on the 35th anniversary of the Moon landing. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Apollo 11 crew portrait. Left to right are...

The Apollo 11 crew portrait. Left to right are Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Challenger Flight Crew

Challenger Flight Crew (Photo credit: cindy47452)

December 7 1941

December 7 1941 (Photo credit: Luke Bryant)

Pentagon Building After Terrorist Attack, 11 S...

Pentagon Building After Terrorist Attack, 11 September 2001 (Photo credit: Marine Corps Archives & Special Collections)

Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan (Photo credit: Fresh Conservative)

The fall of the Berlin Wall - November 1989

The fall of the Berlin Wall – November 1989 (Photo credit: gavinandrewstewart)

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